Music of the Last Decade

The beginning of 2020 signaled the start of a new decade. It provided a chance for all of us — over the age of 10 — to reminisce about the past 10 years, both the good times and the bad, the mistakes and the triumphs, and, most importantly, the aging of our music taste. Don’t get me wrong — I recognize the deep joy that a throwback playlist can contain; I praise my shuffle every time it gifts me with a 2011 smash hit that I haven’t heard since middle school. However, fan loyalty also comes with the risk of watching your favorite artists spiral downward, along with their music. The last decade has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and in order to celebrate and, in some cases, mourn the evolution of the musical best of the 2010s, I’ve compiled this list.  

Flourished:

Starting things off on a positive note, here are some artists that truly flourished this decade, along with their music. 

Ariana Grande

I don’t think it’s even necessary to provide evidence of how Ariana Grande has flourished in the last decade. Everyone knows. Her success has been in everyone’s face since the beginning of the decade when she starred in “Victorious,” but especially since her 2018 album release, “sweetener.” She’s won so many awards and broken countless records on Billboard, Spotify, — you name it. Plus, she topped off the decade with a world tour that had over 100 shows! She really smashed the 2010s. Go Ari. 

Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey has also had an incredible decade. Since her debut album “Born To Die” in 2012, she has branded herself like no other. She’s put out such a solid and consistent portfolio of music. In the last decade she has become the icon for edgy — yet somehow still mainstream — fans who wish they had the LA blues.

Justin Timberlake 

For someone who already had an “Essential Mixes” album by 2010, it’s pretty impressive that Justin Timberlake has remained a respected and big name in music throughout the last decade. Timberlake’s pièce de résistance of the decade — and probably of his career — was his 2013 release “The 20/20 Experience,” which was a two-disc, 25-song album that truly highlighted his talent as a songwriter and as a performer. Even his 2018 country pop-infused album contained some welcomed surprises. Timberlake’s contributions to the film scene — ref. “Trolls,” “Friends with Benefits,” “In Time” — along with his iconic appearances on late-night TV, also earned him points in the “flourishing” category.

Jonas Brothers

The Jo Bros had a huge comeback in 2019 with their album “Happiness Begins” after almost exactly 10 years since their last release. Some of their singles off that album were instantly popular thanks to their fans, who, even in their mid-20s, were ready to “Camp Rock” again.

Plus, they all got married! To high-profile celebrity actresses! Good for them.

Flopped: 

Now, sadly, it’s time for the artists who didn’t exactly thrive in the 2010s. Some of us just weren’t ready for the 2000s to be over. Life moves too fast. We hate to see it. 

Maroon 5

Poor Maroon 5 had such an awesome start to the decade — what happened?! With “Hands All Over” in 2011 and “Overexposed” in 2012, Maroon 5 was on top of the world. Of course, even from these two albums its trajectory into mainstream pop was super clear. But I really had hopes that they would retain at least some of its original sound, the pop-jazzy stuff that began its success from its debut album “Songs About Jane.” But even with “V” in 2015, I could see I was bound to be disappointed. Maroon 5 finished off the decade with Adam Levine basically forcing the band to tailor itself to the same exact same sound every other artist on the pop radio was putting out. What a shame.

Paramore

After absolutely smashing the 2000s decade with three great records with numerous hits, Paramore has not exactly found the same sense of chart-topping triumph awaiting it at the end of this decade. 

To be fair, though, Paramore did start off the decade with a bang. Its self-titled album, released in 2013, found great success. That album had several hits, including “Still Into You” and “Ain’t It Fun,” which won a Grammy for Best Rock Song. In addition to that, Paramore went on tour for this album in 2014, accompanied by Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. I actually saw this show when I was a freshman in high school and can say from personal experience that in this stage of the decade, Paramore rocked.

However, Paramore decided to end the decade with the release of its latest album, “After Laughter,” which hugely missed the mark. “After Laughter” is such a bizarre departure from the 2000s pop-punk sound that had brought them so much success until this point, it’s frustrating as a fan to try to figure out what spurred this album and this evolved sound for them. The album sounds like Paramore’s transition into mainstream pop via a weird MGMT- or Phoenix-inspired indie route. A definite flop, in this writer’s opinion.

Not all hope is lost! Hayley Williams, Paramore’s lead singer, has begun teasing new solo music. Here’s hoping it rocks, and not in the business of misery.

Taylor Swift 

Taylor followed the same, sad mainstream-pop trajectory we have seen from so many other artists. She used to be a country queen. And we loved her for it. But sadly, the Old Taylor is dead. 

I personally feel like Taylor Swift tricked me into being her fan when I was young and only wanted to listen to cliché love songs about the boy next door. Now, even though all she ever writes anymore are rants about her haters, I feel like I have to at least give it a chance. I know the Old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now, and I know she has a completely different sound, but for some reason, I always try every new thing she puts out. And I am sad to admit that I like every new thing she releases even less than I did the one before. I am so tired of being a Taylor Swift fan. If it wasn’t for my personal attachment to “Speak Now” and “Fearless,” I would seriously consider writing her off completely from my catalog.

In conclusion, I think it’s safe to say this decade has truly been a wild ride in the pop music industry. I guess we’ll see where the 2020s take us! As for me, I’ll be here, still waiting for Rihanna to make her comeback.

The Hidden Gems of Disney+

For only $6.99 a month — or $5.83 per month if you buy the yearly subscription —Hoyas can get their hands on Disney+, the new streaming platform filled with Disney’s vault. While old favorites are still being added — waiting for you, “Sonny with a Chance” and “Cory in the House” <3 — the current collection is massive, with about 500 films and 7,500 television episodes.

That said, all of these movies can easily be lost in the rabble. The 4E is here to bring you the top hidden gems that you can’t miss!

Mr. Boogedy

Spooky Season is never over. This off-brand “Beetlejuice” is perfect for those who love a terrible horror movie.

Horse Sense

For past, present, and future Horse Girls™ (and boys)!

“College Road Trip

Who is your favorite Georgetown alumni? Mine is Raven-Symoné.

“Sinbad: First Kid

With the 2020 election fast approaching, this film is sure to put you in a ~political~ mood!

Tuck Everlasting

Image result for tuck everlasting

Ever wonder what would happen if Rory Gilmore fell in love with an eternal being? Yeah, me neither!

Mulan II

What happens when every character gets a perfectly matched love interest? This movie. This movie is what happens.

Happy binging, Hoyas!

Best Ways To Get Around Georgetown

As wintertime on the Hilltop™ freezes even the warmest hearts of the students in the NHS to match those in the MSB, Georgetown students are trying to keep cozy in their dorm rooms — or Lau, but Burnout Szn™ coincides with winter.  With that in mind, finding the best transportation to navigate the treacherous frozen hill(s) is essential to keep time in the cold at a minimum, especially when considering how inaccessible this campus really is.

To make Hoyas’ lives easier, here’s a top-five list of the best ways to get around Georgetown’s campus!

5. A (Mechanical) Razor™ Scooter

We’re kickin’ it old school, folks!  These metal death traps are back and better than ever — no app needed!  Ankle protection, however, is not included. 

4. A Sled

Once the Hilltop ices over, gravity can bring you all the way from Lau to Leo’s.  In the meantime, you might as well hire a friend with negative Flex dollars to drag you around! 

3. Jack the Bulldog’s Jeep

Remember when you first went on a tour with Blue and Gray, and they told you all about how ~seniors steal the clock hands~?  I propose we start a new tradition: stealing Jack the Bulldog’s mini jeep and driving to class in it.

2. Naruto Run

Economically friendly for all Hoyas, Naruto running will help even the slowest students speed from St. Mary’s to Car Barn in 30 seconds tops!

1. Heely’s

Please.  Please help me bring Heelys back in style.  I’m begging.

We could match <333

Apparently, Billionaires Get Lonely, Too

Mr. Jeff Bezos, hot off the stove of a divorce, seems to be getting lonesome in his new life as a bachelor. With his purchase of a “quaint” home in Washington, D.C., he seems to be on the prowl. Alexa must not be good company anymore, because Jeff is scoping out for something more real. Thanks to our impressive network of sources, we are honored to be the first to show the definitely “REAL, AUTHENTIC, UNEDITED” dating profiles of Jeffery Preston Bezos. 

TINDER:

Bio: Hi! I’m an open book — ask me anything! Billionaires are people, too, so be kind. A proud Boomer. Legend has it, if you rub my shiny bald head, Alexa will appear and buy you anything you desire. If you rub another part of my body, something even better happens ;)

BUMBLE:

GRINDR: ???

Mr. Bezos, too, seems to be looking to get cuffed this holiday season. No doubt he’s splurged on all the premium profiles on these apps to get those extra matches, but until he deletes these profiles, it seems like he hasn’t found The One. I guess money can’t buy everything. Happy swiping, Hoyas.

Holiday Decoration Ideas for Your Dorm

With the holiday season just around the corner, it’s time to start thinking about decorations for the dorm. While the following few weeks, especially the final stretch between Thanksgiving break and winter break, can be tough to get through, these holiday dorm ideas are sure to brighten up the room and your mood.

If you’re looking for a festive way to brighten the room and atmosphere outside for passersby, window ornaments are definitely the way to go. Just attach ribbon to a cheap ornament and adhere to the ceiling — you’re ready to go!

Can’t fit a Christmas tree into the room? No problem. Just take any string of lights and form them into the shape of a tree — voila! These lights — and any other decorations you want to add) will surely warm the room.

Limited space on the walls? No worries — there are other options for decorating. Get out a pair of scissors and paper and dress up your minifridge.

It’s not the holiday season without door decorations! Forget wrapping presents; it’s time to wrap the door for a cheery touch in the hallway.

Sources: Pinterest

Things To Cook for Your Loved Ones This Thanksgiving Season

Things to Cook for Your Loved Ones This Thanksgiving Season

The Traditional Friendsgiving Meal

You could show your love with the standard wholesome potluck, or choose to get a little creative this year: Pick up the tab on your group’s late-night Domino’s order, congregate in Leo’s to taste the Fresh Food Company™’s seasonal creations or Venmo all of your stressed-out friends a couple of bucks for coffee at Midnight Mug. Share the love!

Parental Appreciation Breakfast

Get up early one morning during Thanksgiving break and make your parents some pancakes, French toast or maybe even a frittata if you’re feeling inspired. This gesture will basically repay them for the accumulated costs of tuition, room and board, Uber Eats and everything else they’ve done for you since birth.

“Give Me an A” Brownies

Drop these in your professor’s mailbox with a personalized note as a last-ditch effort to save your grade. Ah, sweet, sweet bribery. If the president’s doing it, we can at least try to do it too.

Disclaimer: The Hoya does not endorse bribery.

“Be My Friend?” Picture Cookies

We all know about those cute, delicious sugar cookies with seasonally appropriate decorations. Make a batch of the ones with turkeys on them, park yourself at a table on Lau 2 and wait for your new friends to arrive. This will make up for the feelings of homesickness and isolation that are bound to arise this holiday season.

This is not a Pillsbury ad.

“Goodbye Forever” Cake

If you’re going abroad like me, soften the blow of your last rendezvous with friends and family by saying what everyone is already thinking in cake form. This way, you can all get over your separation anxiety by eating your feelings together.

Sources: me.me, pillsbury.com, giphy.com, threewells.co

Recruitment Season: Resume Boosters

Men and women with vacant expressions are roaming the campus in their pressed professional wear while freshmen cower in fear.  The scent of freshly printed resume paper fills the halls of the Leavey Center, and the Cawley Career Education Center’s emails clog up everyone’s inboxes.  That’s right, Hoyas — Recruitment Szn™ is upon us.

Through a representative MSBro, Chad — no relation to my roommate, Chad the aloe plant — I’m going to walk you through five resume fluffers to boost your chances at the Goldman Sachs internship of your dreams.

(sorry, Chad — it’s the MSBro’s time to shine)

“Strong Interpersonal Skills”

Chad always says “flex” before the Corp worker even asks, AND he says thank you when grabbing his Beloved?  Revolutionary.

Much unlike Chad, of course.

“Proficient Typing Speed”

After Tinder messaging the night away, it’s clear — Chad knows how to type.

Chad even taught his cat to text his ~ladies~ when he’s grinding in Yates!

“Experience in Coding”

Chad plugged one (1) formula into Excel for his “Intermediate Economics” course.  He got a B on the assignment, but it’s the experience that really matters.

“Understanding of Managerial/Supervisory Responsibilities”

Looking over the Vil A railing, Chad oversaw the groups of stumbling students, tired from the long night.  He even gave one of them directions to Epi! A true stand-up bro!

Chad also takes turns being his friends’ designated driver.  Very Responsible.

“Extensive Experience in Public Speaking”

Chad gave an EPIC Tombs night speech.  He earned this one.

It’s a doggie dog world out there, Hoyas — good luck!

9 Ways To Stay Healthy During Flu Season

Midterms. Post-homecoming. Hearing that John Mulaney was on campus but not actually seeing him.

Life’s been coming at us Hoyas pretty hard the last few weeks, and, as if things couldn’t get any worse, it’s flu season. While some of us have a demigod-like resistance to mortal diseases, we common folk gotta bite the bullet and face the shot.

But, before you can get yourself out of bed to maintain your health through the power of modern medicine, 4E’s got nine temporary fixes to keep that virus out, so you can pop off (sis) on Halloweekend!

Don’t stay out too late

What?!?! But Midnight Mug is open until 2 a.m. for a reason!!

Yes, midterm szn is a hot mess: papers, tests and presentations demand a hefty amount of study time. And, when some professors forget students have more than one class, there really isn’t an option. But we stan self-care and not succumbing (and, tbh, perpetuating) Georgetown stress culture. 

So, get! to! bed!

Save the 3 a.m. trips to Wawa for the weekend — even then, take care of yourself!

Eat healthy

I hate Yates. I hate movement in general: unless that movement is taking a big bite out of a Wisey’s Hot Chick.

Luckily and, I guess, unfortunately, the best quick fix to being sedentary for 11 hours is eating well. If you can’t keep your body in shape (@yourboy) then at least eat some veg or froot that’ll boost that immune system!

Bundle up

It be cold! (~sometimes~)

I really don’t know what’s happening in Washington, D.C., right now, but it’s definitely not as warm as it was in August. In that case, maybe it’s time to cut wearing the single, thin cotton layer of your only Grateful Dead T-shirt (you know, the same one you wear to show that you’re “old school”) and start putting on some sweaters and long sleeves.

IMO, Georgetown does fall fashion FANTASTICALLY, so please participate in our communal, stylish preparation for colder weather.

Stay inside

If you only have that Grateful Dead tee, though, or haven’t done laundry in weeks because you have five papers due in one day, then try to keep warm indoors!

Leo’s — upstairs or down — behind the stairs is usually pretty toasty. HFSC fireplace? Top notch. Lau’s okay, but it’s more humid than cozy.

If nothing else, hunker down in that 160-square-foot Darnall dorm of yours.

Maybe forever.

Lock your door

And you know what? Why don’t you close yourself off while you’re at it?

Maybe it doesn’t help too much, but locking your door might keep out those germs! Yes, of course, FOMO might become an issue if you imprison yourself in your room, but any price to keep out the flu, right?

Right?

Make no human contact

You still probably have a roommate. 

They still probably have a key.

But they’re still a threat to your health. They are a threat to your very being.

So keep them out! Haha! You can’t risk contamination at this point — you still have a Spanish presentation and your voice has to be in tiptop shape. FaceTime, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and even a phone call are risky. Delete all of them. Hide your phone. Germs can travel through the airwaves.

Lay salt lines at the entrances

Worst thing that could happen? Spiritual sickness! Ewww, gross!

Not only could your roommate carry a DISGUSTING virus that could potentially stop you from seeing your crush as Jim from “The Office” in a really stupid, lazy “Three-Hole Punch” costume, they could also be a witch!

So lay out those salt lines and keep out that beast of Hell!

They could turn you into a newt! And that’s not ~lit~ at all.

Build a shrine

Salt lines aren’t enough, though.

If Cerberus comes a-knockin’, you really think some sodium chloride’s gonna stop him? Or the flu, too, I guess.

NO! Ignorant fool! You must build. High and high to the very heavens — or just the roof of your dorm, lol! Choose your favorite idol, who can be the champion of your health —mine’s Bradley Cooper, ugh, so dReAmy~~~

Pray, wicked soul, pray! Prostrate yourself to the worship-idol of your choosing — it’s 2019! — and just jam out to Gregorian chant or some meditative music to cast out any source of harm to your well-being.

And germs!

Sacrifice

The last step. You must commit a sacrifice to your idol —

Wait, what? Nonononono, BLOOD sacrifice? That’s sooo 12th century.

I’m talking about not eating candy for a day or taking a day off from social media. Honestly, in all your efforts to keep healthy, pass midterms and purge yourself of evil, maybe cracking open the door for an hour and hanging out with some friends is a kind of sacrifice.

Doing well in school and defeating evil are just as taxing as shutting yourself off from the world, so be healthy by practicing some solid self-care!

Though, who would miss one goat?

In all seriousness…

Get! Yo! Shot! 

It’s better and safer for you and everyone around you — even if you think you have X-Men immunity. It takes less than 10 minutes, and it gives you a chance to BYOB — Bring your own Band-Aid! And only Hoyas know how to pull off a stylish Garfield one, so go off!

Be well, and Happy Halloweekend, folks!

Endnote: I asked a friend if they give you candy as an incentive to get your shot, and she said, “No, you’re 19 years old.”

Thanks, Caroline.

14 Halloween Costumes You Can Make “Sexy”: Georgetown Edition

Aside from trick-or-treating, we know you love seeing those creative costume ideas that go beyond *rolls eyes* Harley Quinn.

If you want to think a little outside the box, but still maintain a sexy and eye-catching aura, here are fourteen Halloween costumes that can go from weird to hot.

  1. Sexy “Student Guard Who Makes You Swipe”

2. Sexy “Chaplain in Your Building Who Makes Good Pancakes”

3. Sexy “Tennis Coach in Prison”

4. Sexy “Rise and Shine”

5. Sexy “That Person From GERMS Who Saved Your Friend From Alcohol Poisoning”

6. Sexy “Mark Zuckerberg”

7. Sexy “Girl Thinking She’s One of the Boys After Going to One Georgetown Basketball Game”

8. Sexy “Leo’s”

9. Sexy “Girl Who Can’t Play Beer Pong Even After Going to Every Frat Party”

10. Sexy “Switching From MSB to College”


11. Sexy “Wisey’s Rat”

12. Sexy “Kappas Who Go to Nobu”

13. Sexy “Professors Who Assign 4 Exams in One Day”


14. Sexy “My Drunk Snack at 1 a.m.”

(Sources: Halloween Express, Business Insider, Pinterest, Spirit Halloween)

An Open Letter to Kylie Jenner

kylie openl etter

Dear Kylie,

How goes it? What’s happening, sweetie? I think I speak on behalf of the entire world when I ask — why are you doing this?

You have complete autonomy over your life choices. However, if I may offer some constructive feedback, Tyga is an objectively worse life partner/baby daddy/PR tool than Travis. Travis is hot, talented and successful. He’s a good dad. Please refer to exhibits A through D for evidence.

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she won’t let go of that purse 👛 😫

A post shared by Kylie ✨ (@kyliejenner) on

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Only love Us vs The globe

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I realize that Tyga holds some sentimental value for you. Let’s all take a moment to remember that episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” in which Tyga performed at Kendall’s Sweet 16 and shared a ~moment~ with a wide-eyed, thin-lipped teenage Kylie.

Start watching at 3:35.

Despite that, it’s about time we all moved on from our teenage crushes. Don’t you think?

As further evidence, let’s compare the artistic abilities of the two men. Would you rather be in “Rack City” or “ASTROWORLD”? Would you rather have six Grammy nominations or a $20 million lawsuit for showing women topless in the “Make it Nasty” music video without their consent? If you’re still uncertain, a text study is provided below.

Kylie, I know what you’re thinking. Who is this girl to criticize me and my decisions? And you’re right. I can’t say I’m a member of your fan base; I had a short Kardashian phase in 2012, but didn’t we all? Yet, after watching your pregnancy video, I have been rooting for you, Travis and Stormi. How could you give this up?

At the end of the day, it’s your life. This is just my opinion, so take it or leave it. I just hope you continue to “Rise and Shine” and I think that Travis is the best person to do that with.

Sources: Giphy, Tenor, YouTube, Instagram